How To Help A 12 Year Old Girl Lose Weight 3 Easy Ways to Change Your Child’s Behavior

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3 Easy Ways to Change Your Child’s Behavior

If your child is not behaving the way you want, you need to change the way you deal with the issues. It just won’t work to keep using the same old parenting techniques. If they haven’t worked yet, they’re not going to. Here are three easy things you can do to make your child want to do what you ask.

1. Negotiate

The idea of ​​negotiating with their children is one that many parents simply cannot grasp. In our parenting class, we are often met with flat refusal at first. “I’m the parent. I don’t negotiate. My kids have to follow my rules.”

By negotiating, you show your child that you are open to their point of view. It shows that you respect them and that you care about how they feel. It opens up many new lines of communication between parents and children. And, if you handle it right, both parties leave happy.

Your child will respect you more if you are willing to listen to how they feel. By negotiating with your child, he knows that his feelings are validated and that you care about how he feels. They won’t have to win every negotiation – and neither will you.

When negotiating, keep in mind that the first time you drop your child off, the negotiations will be over. Your child will not be interested in continuing a conversation in which you make them feel bad about themselves.

A woman in our parenting class tried to negotiate with her 12-year-old daughter about a new dress for her first prom. The daughter was wearing a one-piece dress. Mother wanted to choose a mid-calf dress. During the negotiation, the mother said, “You know how clumsy you are. You’re going to trip over that hem and fall flat on your face in front of all your friends. They’re going to get a real kick out of it.” The daughter was used to sunken. She had been listening to them all her life. She quietly opted for a mid-calf dress to finish off the theme.

In the next parenting lesson, the mother reported that her daughter was not much of a negotiator. The mother had tried to negotiate, but the daughter had refused. While they eventually bought the dress the mother wanted, the daughter was not happy with the decision.

Put-downs are not part of any negotiation – or any conversation. If you find yourself putting your child down. To stop. Apologize. Really apologize. And move on.

Some topics you might want to start negotiating on might be:

bedtime

whether you take out the garbage in the evening or in the morning

Friday night TV

curfew

Using negotiation not only shows your child that you respect them, but it teaches them reasoning skills that will help them throughout life.

2. Good Choices / Bad Choices

All success and failure comes from the choices we make. Being able to think about our choices empowers our children to make better choices more often – and to accept the negative consequences of bad choices. Once they understand that a bad thing happened because of a choice they made, they can move on to make a better choice to fix the problem or avoid it altogether next time. If they are not taught consequences, they will not learn to make good choices.

We had a parent in our parent class who complained that the school picked on her son. He had failed English because he had forgotten to submit several required papers. She had gone to the school several times to talk to the teacher, but the teacher would not budge. She asked how to help her son.

I told her “Let him fail.”

Good parents protect their children from serious injury. Good parents also stick around and don’t “overprotect” so their kids learn the consequences. All children will make wrong choices as they grow up. When they have to face the consequences, they learn what choices they made to get themselves into the mess, and they also learn to think about their choices. Your child will learn much faster by facing their choices than by all the preemptive preaching you could give them. Let them fail.

Once they’ve failed, don’t say “I told you so.” Don’t be happy. Don’t tell them they are alone. Let them know you are there for them. Help them get back on track. Talk to them about it. Gently point out that the consequence is a direct result of a choice they made. Help them learn to make good choices, but don’t discount bad choices.

Your goal as a parent is to teach your child that life is better when he makes good choices. Making good choices isn’t always easy – but it always makes life better.

Some options your child can start learning today:

Don’t finish your homework… fail the class

Don’t pick up your toys… the dog might destroy them (or they might get thrown away)

Take your hands off the handlebars of your bike…you might fall off

Learn to offer your advice, then back off and let consistency teach your child. You may help your child make the right choice, but let them make the choice and deal with the good or bad outcome. Praise him when he makes a good choice – but never put him down for making a bad choice.

3. No tear

Constant negative comments eat away at your child’s self-esteem. It never helps a child’s behavior. In fact, it often makes it worse.

Some parents feel that they need to point out every time their child misbehaves in order to teach the child what is wrong. They end up with a child who is nervous and afraid to do anything lest he disappoint his parent once again. Or, worse, they end up with a child who acts out even more.

Instead of whining, start looking for something they did right and point it out.

Instead of “I told you to clean your room. Get in there and do it now!”

Try this: “Thanks for taking your toys from the living room. I like it when it looks nice.”

Instead of “Did you brush your teeth like I told you to? I’m sick of having to remind you.”

Try this: “I’m proud you got into your own pajamas.”

In these two examples, we are ignoring things that we really want done. But we are building a foundation of confidence and self-esteem in our child. It won’t take long for our child to start looking for more ways to earn praise. Once they get a taste of what praise feels like, they will start doing things to get more praise.

Three easy things to change the way your child acts. Easy for parents. Great for kids. Try it today.

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