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Infidelity, Spirituality, Unconditional Love, and Cheating – 7 Forms of Infidelity
One of the most popular love topics people ask us is infidelity and how it relates to fate and karma.
The American Heritage Dictionary of English defines infidelity as “a lack of loyalty or devotion, especially to a spouse.” It defines loyalty as “loyalty to a duty or duty.”
Let’s consider several forms of infidelity besides cheating.
1. Restraining emotion and sex in your marriage or relationship, for whatever reason, can cause a huge rift between you and your partner. Respect and trust both deteriorate. Everyone wants to be valued and needed. If someone is denied affection or sex in their relationship, they may feel justified getting it elsewhere. You ask, will this lead to bad karma? If it involves lying and cheating, it likely will, as does using sex as a bargaining chip or a tool of manipulation in a relationship.
2. Is fiscally irresponsible.
3. Making yourself unattractive to your partner, such as gaining a lot of weight, which in some people’s eyes is just as bad as messing around behind your partner’s back.
4. Suddenly ignoring your partner’s emotional needs or their need to connect with you on any other level (such as intellectually).
5. Being emotionally close to someone other than your spouse, flirting (both in person and online), and even fantasizing about someone other than your spouse (even if, from a spiritual standpoint, this is natural) can be considered infidelity. We’ve been asked if we believe consensual non-monogamy creates negative karma, and the answer is always “no” if you’re honest and act responsibly with all involved.
6. Not prioritizing spending time with your partner and always going out with friends may be seen as an act of infidelity.
7. Committing to cooking and housekeeping in exchange for financial support from your significant other and then failing to keep the agreement after marriage is infidelity and also creates bad karma.
After making a commitment, changing your attitude in any way that disappoints your partner can be seen as an act of infidelity. This also applies to unspoken agreements, and when a person presents himself in a certain way.
To maintain fidelity (in some cases, ignoring fate and karma), prenuptial agreements are common today. Some argue that a prenuptial agreement should also include how housework will be divided, and that sexual activity (frequency, manner, required attitude, etc.) will be included in the union.
After all, since a traditional marriage is a legally binding agreement, like a business arrangement, it can be argued that each party has a legal obligation to uphold their part in the transaction.
If a partner doesn’t get what they want and need in their relationship, it’s unknown what they’ll do 5, 10, 20 or more years from now. Therefore, taking a commercial approach to love (a legally binding agreement, i.e. a marriage certificate) requires commercial negotiations before the event to ensure fairness and protect both parties.
Don’t you think it’s very romantic? Nor is the fact that America’s 60% divorce rate and many (stats say about 50%) undivorced people are cheating.
However, from a spiritual standpoint, you cannot expect your lover to behave in a certain way and then honestly say that you are expressing unconditional love. Unconditional means you don’t expect anything in return. Yet in today’s world, where life savings, businesses, careers, children’s safety, and more are at stake, less than pragmatic approaches to relationships are often regrettable.
Attempts to rewrite personal destiny and avoid karma through legally binding contracts may never succeed, but an open and realistic discussion of hopes and expectations at the beginning of a relationship can help, at least for now. Writing them down will help later.
If one disappoints, should the other be free to investigate other options without financial or other penalties? Maybe that should be part of the contract too.
Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo
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