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How to Teach Your Child About Healthy Competition – It’s Okay to Lose
Last week was my daughter’s school sports day. She is a member of the Yellow House. She had to wear yellow and fight for points. The yellow house won. I’m really happy for my daughter because the Green House won last year. In fact, when the winning house was announced last year, many little faces turned sour. There were a lot of tears and tantrums, and the kids were miserable because they lost.
this is not right! I want to tell the kids “it’s okay to lose”.
After a few months, I started noticing that my kids were getting more competitive too. As a mother, this was a first for me. I’m really not sure what to do or say to help my daughter understand that she doesn’t have to be number one at everything.
My daughter wants to win the daily math knockout. She wants to get a rally award every week. When she got a 9 out of 10 in spelling, she started coming home distraught. My kids feel bad when they lose a board game. In her mind, she had to win it all. The world is black and white, win or lose, there is no middle ground.
Despite this new challenge, competition was becoming increasingly problematic for my daughter and something had to be done to help her understand and learn that failure was acceptable.
Teaching my daughter to compete in a healthy way has been a learning curve for me and my kids. She now has a healthy attitude and is able to take pleasure in her success. She doesn’t feel bad when she loses. She accepts this gracefully because she knows it’s impossible to be the best all the time. nobody is perfect.
With this in mind, I’m going to share some tips for teaching your kids how to have healthy competition and it’s okay to lose.
Tell your child that everyone is different.
As parents, we can teach young children that everyone is different and unique. We can talk to our children about the fact that every child is gifted. Sarah may be a fast runner, while Jo is good at drawing. John may be good at counting but not good at writing. Emma may be good at swimming, but not at singing.
When children begin to understand that they have different talents, strengths and weaknesses, they will be ready to understand that they cannot be the best at everything and do better in one subject or talent than another Better is okay.
Teach kids it’s okay to lose
Losing is never fun. Children learn from an early age that winning is the best outcome. As parents, it is important to teach our children that loss is acceptable. We can talk to our kids about the importance of everyone having a chance to win. We can teach our kids to be happy for their friends when they win.
I asked my child how she would feel if she lost every time. She said she would be really sad. I explained to her that we all need to take turns winning, which helps us to be happy, but also when a friend wins, because we’re going to be happy for them.
(This was really a turning point in my daughter’s understanding. She still wants to win, but if she doesn’t, she can now say at least my friends won, which is fine with them)
Tell children that achievements and victories require hard work.
As parents, we can teach our children that in order to be good at something, we have to practice. If my daughter wants to get high marks in spelling, then we have to practice words every day. I put a lot of effort into teaching my kids that it’s okay to “just be good” and that it’s okay to have average grades in school and sports. Yet she also knew that if she wanted to do “better,” it would take work.
I tell my kids that in everything we do, there is “good, better and best.” While it is important to do our best, we feel happy when we do better than last time or achieve a good or average grade. We can teach children to aspire to be the best version of themselves, but to be happy even when they are not progressing in the way they hoped.
The “good, better, best” principle really works in any situation in life, not just when we compete, but in all the things we choose to do. This is true for both adults and children. We can celebrate the good in our lives, our good accomplishments, and teach our children that just because we don’t win or have perfect results doesn’t make us less valuable as individuals.
Teach children to have fun.
Many times it is easy to forget about the joy of learning, playing and competing when one is only focused on the end result or winning a game or getting the highest score.
We can teach our children to be good athletes and enjoy participating in a game or activity without getting caught up in the competition. Sure, it’s important to try to win a game or win a board game, but it’s not the end of the world if we don’t win.
I talk to my child and remind her that playing games with Mom and Dad is all about spending time together and having fun. It’s not just about winning. My daughter loves playing with the Uno. She likes to keep score, and of course gets disappointed when she tries to win and doesn’t. In this case, I used the “redirection technique”. I redirected her attention to the fact that we had a good time together and we could play another day, not the fact that she lost.
As children get older, they will face more and more competition. It is important that we teach our children to “bounce back” from loss, to experience loss in a positive way, and to keep going even if they don’t achieve the desired outcome.
Teach children that not everything is a game. Teach the importance of teamwork and working together to achieve goals.
We can teach our kids to work together as a team to set goals and engage in activities that make us a team. Recycling is a good example. As a family, we collect waste paper in buckets and weigh it on weekends. We put the result on a graph and put it in the recycling bin. This is a fun activity that promotes teamwork rather than competing with each other to see who can collect the most papers.
Teaching our children to work together is an important principle. We can use cooperative play or create activities at home. Most importantly, we can lead by example. Instead of competing with each other, my husband and I try to work together to achieve our goals, and we show that to our kids. We set family goals and celebrate with rewards together.
By teaching children to be resilient now, we can prepare them for what will be their adult lives. Our kids can learn to compete for fun and learn how to bounce back from life’s failures and disappointments.
We can talk to our kids about competition. We can lead by example by showing our children that losing a game or failing a test is not everything. Failure is just an opportunity to try again, an opportunity to become more successful.
I believe parenthood is the most important role in life. Raising emotionally healthy children is very important to the next generation, and by teaching our children the above principles, we can help them overcome obstacles in life and they will learn to compete in healthy ways throughout their lives.
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