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Weight Losing Tips I Can’t Endorse

This news quote from stuff.com/nz:

“A 26-year-old man from Auckland was among nine thrill-seeking runners injured, three of whom were injured during a dangerous final bull run at the San Fermin festival in Spain, three of whom were injured by Goring. .

In one of the bloodiest races at this year’s festival, a Red Bull on its tail fell and was separated from the others, causing it to become disoriented and killed The large crowd enraged and caused panic among the runners. “

I was about to write another article on weight loss tips when it occurred to me that if you took all the weight loss tips and linked them end to end, they would make it all the way to my local health club and back. Really there The ones that make sense I can probably fit on a 3X5 file card and have room for my weekend shopping list.

Then I started thinking about some really bad weight loss tips I’ve heard, and since I haven’t seen a compilation like this in the past day or two, I thought I’d give it a go. So, with that in mind, here we go – weight loss tips I can’t endorse:

Weight Loss Tip #1

Follow my reasoning here.

Proposition 1: If jogging is a good way to lose weight, then brisk running must be even better. Proposition 2: Misguided people are risking their health every day by subscribing to dangerous fad diets. Proposition 3: Every year thousands of thrill-seekers risk their lives to run with the bulls in Pamplona, ​​Spain.

Conclusion: Since fad dieters risk their health anyway, and running is considered an excellent way to lose weight, the ultimate weight loss program has to be running with the bulls in Pamplona, ​​Spain. It combines health risks with exercise and, like some dieting plans, even has the potential for fatal side effects. Just ask ephedra users.

Weight Loss Tip #2

According to MSN Money.com, Jenny Craig is now paying $359 to lose 30 pounds, not including food. For the same 30 pounds, Nutrisystem costs a modest $1,199.80, but that does include food. With those numbers in mind, and since money is obviously not an issue for many people, I’ve come up with a foolproof weight loss/rapid weight loss plan, err plan, which I’m calling the “wave of future diet” weight loss plan.

Here’s how it works:

Conservatively, my weight hovers around 200 lbs, at least on Earth. However, if I were to travel to the moon, due to the lower gravity, I would only weigh 33.2 lbs, an instant weight loss of 166.8 lbs! Think about the benefits. No risky diet pills, no boring Weight Watchers sessions, no excruciating sit-ups at the local health club, no expensive Jenny Craig food.

Of course there is a price to pay. A trip to the moon like we did in 1969 would cost $100 million in today’s dollars. That’s just to get there. Add another hundred million if I want to land and stick around for a while and enjoy the new me.

The good news is that I only need one member of my Future Diet Wave weight loss program and I can retire. Email me if you are interested.

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